Today BigShit punched me in the face because I told her she smelled nice. I think she hates compliments because after she punched me, I told her that her hands were soft and then she spat in my eye. She must hate me. But a friend is a friend and I can't afford to lose one more or I'd only have like 5 left. So I just blinked her spit away. I should've known better and worn protective gear after our last incident... when I helped tie her neon blue shoelaces but I didn't tie them the way she liked and she bit a chunk of my neck off, that's why it's so short now.
True story... okay maybe a little bit of that was fabricated... her shoelaces weren't neon blue, they were black, I saw them so clearly when she kicked me in my groin.
